Abstinence Loses Friends

With any journey, you can always expect to lose a friend or two. With this journey I found myself not having anything in common with my old friends anymore. Before I became abstinent I was very liberal about sex. My friends and I use to go to eachother's rooms and gossip about our sexual quest. We prided ourselves on conquering sex with men we barely knew, and then laugh when they would call or text us asking for more. Men to use were like a revolving door. We were just trying to play the game and be pleasured by as many guys as possible.

I definitely played the game wrong lol. The girls I use to hang with were very good a detaching their emotions away from physical need. They were so numb to sleeping around that they would forget who they slept with or his name. I, very conscious of my emotions, had difficulty detaching my emotions from sex as I have trouble detaching my emotions from anything. I guess you could say I tried to keep up with my friends, who I idled as the eye of liberation, but I not like them. I tried, lol, but I was not like them. Sleeping around with guys who really did not care about me personally hurt. It really hurt my confidence and it made me feel like I really was nothing but a booty call. That sex was the only thing I was good for.

I use to look a couples all the time when I made visits off campus, or watch couples in school happily in love, and I envied that. I was confused. I thought that by having sex and playing the game I could win my prince charming. Lol no! The women in these couples I saw were with some really good men. The guys I was with....were not interested. They only cared about getting what they wanted, not about me.

Soooo I got out! My friends don't really understand why I've become so serious about sex and finding a committed relationship. I've tried to explain, but it hasn't really gotten me anywhere except a couple laughs and snickers. I won't totally lie and say I don't judge them as much as they judge me now, which brings me back to my point that with any journey, whether you're going natural, quitting smoking, quitting drinking, etc; you will often find yourself looking your support system...your friends. My advice, in which I am taking myself, is to find new ones who will understand you. It's a lot easier having friends you have something in common with than have friends you don't.