THE POWER OF THE VAGINA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yegDenVT_Kw
I found this link searching around youtube. I get a lot of heat about how I take sex too literally, that my abstinence is silly, and that I don't know men. Well they are right about one thing I'm no expert on the male psychic, but I stumbled on this video that corrected everything I've been saying about men, women, sex and disasters.
Now the guy in this video is a little silly, and if you browse the rest of his videos he seems pretty much like a dog. It's a little annoying, but he is the typical guy women usually go for. His personality seems charming, which is why I took what he was saying literally, lol. Sort of like the typical guy living the good life being good looking, charismatic, and scoring as many women he can to compete with his friends.
Anyway he said some really good things about how sex determines a man's decision making in relationships. His example was, if a man was dating two women he will decipher who he would spend the most time with by the amount of sex and good sex he can get from them. If the first woman that he's dating is a woman he doesn't see a future with, but the sex is great then he will keep her around. If the second woman he dates is a nice woman who does not give him great sex then he will move on from her and focus on the first woman. It's a ridiculous concept how much sex plays on relatioships. Imagine dating someone you don't care for just because the sex was good. How awful. Imagine being the woman led on to believe that the man you are sleeping with actually likes you, but just likes your sex.
The power of vagina is what he calls it. Sex in general must be a very powerful thing if it drives so many people, men in particular, crazy. I guess vagina will makes a man want do anything; lie, cheat, play, the list is endless. Anyway check it out it's a very informational video. It made me appreciate being abstinent.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
Sex Dream/ Worst Case Scenario
Sex dreams have been very common since I've been abstinent. I've just been getting them recently toward the end of my year. Before I stopped having sex I did not have sex dreams what so ever. Now that I'm trying not to have sex it's like I get a sex dream twice a month.
Last night I had a sex dream about a guy I met, not someone I know, but I guess an image of what I'm usually attracted to, and had a one night stand with. It took place in this BEAUTIFUL apartment (I guess my dream apartment completely furnished with Indian silks almost like I was in a palace. Soooo gorgeous) that I called my own. I don't want to relish the apartment, but wow! There were no modern furniture. The chairs where bean bags and the tables only stood as high as coffee tables. There were different colored sheets everywhere; purple, orange, red, pink, so amazing. Like, my mind got it right, that was in fact my dream apartment. Dream as in never going to happen, but wow!
Anyway, the dream started off so smooth. I was totally in agreement to have a one night stand with this guy. I mean I didn't argue, I didn't fight, nothing. I was completely submissive. I just smiled and walked him inside the complex. I didn't even tell him that I was abstinent, and when the act began I didn't stop it. It was completely out of my character it was almost like it wasn't me. It wasn't like one of those dreams where I could see myself doing something. It was definitely me, in body.
I remember thinking to myself that I was going to take this act to the grave and no one would know about it. I said to myself that I was going to continue living as an abstinent woman, with the exception of this one night stand. That was totally out of my character. I've never even had a one night stand before, and here I was thinking that I was going to do it and lie to myself that it didn't happen. I didn't even get the guys name. What?!
To continue the dream, we were enjoying ourselves, when a short time later he peeped out of the window to find his....guess what....girlfriend outside looking from below my building like she was waiting for him to look. She was stalking him. He popped up and rushed out the house to aid her.
So I guess you could call this a sex dream, but I would also call it my worst case scenerio. My biggest fear when entering a sexual relationship is that he could have a girlfriend. I mean, that's what happen with my ex. He persuaded me to enter a sexual relationship completely built on dating, when he had a girlfriend the whole time. He loved that girl too. Yup, we had a great little romance during the holidays, but once he got back to school he revisited his girlfriend and completely ditched me. And when I say ditch I don't mean he dumped me. No he just stopped calling and that was it. It's amazing the dumb things we do when we're young.
So yeah that dream was definitely a creation of my worst fear, and named one of the reasons why I went abstinent in the first place.
Stay tuned, I'm sure there will be more sex dreams to come. Nothing will be detailed to graph the actual act, because that's not relevant.
Last night I had a sex dream about a guy I met, not someone I know, but I guess an image of what I'm usually attracted to, and had a one night stand with. It took place in this BEAUTIFUL apartment (I guess my dream apartment completely furnished with Indian silks almost like I was in a palace. Soooo gorgeous) that I called my own. I don't want to relish the apartment, but wow! There were no modern furniture. The chairs where bean bags and the tables only stood as high as coffee tables. There were different colored sheets everywhere; purple, orange, red, pink, so amazing. Like, my mind got it right, that was in fact my dream apartment. Dream as in never going to happen, but wow!
Anyway, the dream started off so smooth. I was totally in agreement to have a one night stand with this guy. I mean I didn't argue, I didn't fight, nothing. I was completely submissive. I just smiled and walked him inside the complex. I didn't even tell him that I was abstinent, and when the act began I didn't stop it. It was completely out of my character it was almost like it wasn't me. It wasn't like one of those dreams where I could see myself doing something. It was definitely me, in body.
I remember thinking to myself that I was going to take this act to the grave and no one would know about it. I said to myself that I was going to continue living as an abstinent woman, with the exception of this one night stand. That was totally out of my character. I've never even had a one night stand before, and here I was thinking that I was going to do it and lie to myself that it didn't happen. I didn't even get the guys name. What?!
To continue the dream, we were enjoying ourselves, when a short time later he peeped out of the window to find his....guess what....girlfriend outside looking from below my building like she was waiting for him to look. She was stalking him. He popped up and rushed out the house to aid her.
So I guess you could call this a sex dream, but I would also call it my worst case scenerio. My biggest fear when entering a sexual relationship is that he could have a girlfriend. I mean, that's what happen with my ex. He persuaded me to enter a sexual relationship completely built on dating, when he had a girlfriend the whole time. He loved that girl too. Yup, we had a great little romance during the holidays, but once he got back to school he revisited his girlfriend and completely ditched me. And when I say ditch I don't mean he dumped me. No he just stopped calling and that was it. It's amazing the dumb things we do when we're young.
So yeah that dream was definitely a creation of my worst fear, and named one of the reasons why I went abstinent in the first place.
Stay tuned, I'm sure there will be more sex dreams to come. Nothing will be detailed to graph the actual act, because that's not relevant.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Abstinence Loses Friends
With any journey, you can always expect to lose a friend or two. With this journey I found myself not having anything in common with my old friends anymore. Before I became abstinent I was very liberal about sex. My friends and I use to go to eachother's rooms and gossip about our sexual quest. We prided ourselves on conquering sex with men we barely knew, and then laugh when they would call or text us asking for more. Men to use were like a revolving door. We were just trying to play the game and be pleasured by as many guys as possible.
I definitely played the game wrong lol. The girls I use to hang with were very good a detaching their emotions away from physical need. They were so numb to sleeping around that they would forget who they slept with or his name. I, very conscious of my emotions, had difficulty detaching my emotions from sex as I have trouble detaching my emotions from anything. I guess you could say I tried to keep up with my friends, who I idled as the eye of liberation, but I not like them. I tried, lol, but I was not like them. Sleeping around with guys who really did not care about me personally hurt. It really hurt my confidence and it made me feel like I really was nothing but a booty call. That sex was the only thing I was good for.
I use to look a couples all the time when I made visits off campus, or watch couples in school happily in love, and I envied that. I was confused. I thought that by having sex and playing the game I could win my prince charming. Lol no! The women in these couples I saw were with some really good men. The guys I was with....were not interested. They only cared about getting what they wanted, not about me.
Soooo I got out! My friends don't really understand why I've become so serious about sex and finding a committed relationship. I've tried to explain, but it hasn't really gotten me anywhere except a couple laughs and snickers. I won't totally lie and say I don't judge them as much as they judge me now, which brings me back to my point that with any journey, whether you're going natural, quitting smoking, quitting drinking, etc; you will often find yourself looking your support system...your friends. My advice, in which I am taking myself, is to find new ones who will understand you. It's a lot easier having friends you have something in common with than have friends you don't.
I definitely played the game wrong lol. The girls I use to hang with were very good a detaching their emotions away from physical need. They were so numb to sleeping around that they would forget who they slept with or his name. I, very conscious of my emotions, had difficulty detaching my emotions from sex as I have trouble detaching my emotions from anything. I guess you could say I tried to keep up with my friends, who I idled as the eye of liberation, but I not like them. I tried, lol, but I was not like them. Sleeping around with guys who really did not care about me personally hurt. It really hurt my confidence and it made me feel like I really was nothing but a booty call. That sex was the only thing I was good for.
I use to look a couples all the time when I made visits off campus, or watch couples in school happily in love, and I envied that. I was confused. I thought that by having sex and playing the game I could win my prince charming. Lol no! The women in these couples I saw were with some really good men. The guys I was with....were not interested. They only cared about getting what they wanted, not about me.
Soooo I got out! My friends don't really understand why I've become so serious about sex and finding a committed relationship. I've tried to explain, but it hasn't really gotten me anywhere except a couple laughs and snickers. I won't totally lie and say I don't judge them as much as they judge me now, which brings me back to my point that with any journey, whether you're going natural, quitting smoking, quitting drinking, etc; you will often find yourself looking your support system...your friends. My advice, in which I am taking myself, is to find new ones who will understand you. It's a lot easier having friends you have something in common with than have friends you don't.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
My Reasons
It has been a year since I've been abstinent, and what way to start of a blog than to tell my reasons for picking up this journey.
I was dating a guy for a while my freshman year of college. We started off as friends/w benefits until he eventually wanted to move on to dating. After dating pretty seriously for about a month, I found out he had a girlfriend and ended the situation. Sophomore year I still wasn't over it and we ended up dating again. I found that by dating him the second time how hard it was for him to trust me. This I didn't understand. The dating did not last long and we parting again. Junior year I figured, third time is a charm, and we started dating again. I allowed it to get really serious for me, because the level in which I thought I was in love. It took me a couple of months to realize that he was only interested in having a physical relationship. That truly did hurt me and we parted again, this time for good.
I found myself blaming the situation between me and the guy I dated on me. It was my idea to start off as friends/w benefits. I found that by adding sex into the equation he found it much harder to trust me than the other relationships he had after where he was able to open up more. Had it not began that way, I believe things would have been different, meaning I would have realized how incompatible we were and fully recognized how immature he was dealing with my emotions (yeah it's a long story than I'm letting out, but I'm sure I'll open up about it more later on).
In between the three years we were off and on dating, there were some other men I met in between, but I was always treated like a sex buddy or "the other woman". I guess you can say I felt a lot of shame watching the men I had emotional and sexual relationships with move on to real relationships in a matter of months while I was still stuck in a pit. I can also say I don't truly forgive myself for allowing sex to destroy my dignity as well as my relations with the young man I spoke of previously.
This abstinence journey at first was to gain back confidence, security, and my dignity back. After a year it has become much more than that. Abstinence has given me stability and it has given me my virtue back. I feel 100% whole being abstinent now than I was before. It has helped me communicate with men better, and helped me realize that I am not my body; I am self.
There are often times I ponder about the one who got away. With that,I have gained a habit of calling sex the culprit for all my my previous problems. It's not exactly a good way of thinking, but abstinence does give me positivity that weights out the negative regression that lurks in my mined. I believe there are more exciting things to come. My mind is cleared from perversion and unwanted acts of lust. Abstinence has really helped me understand who I really am and what I really want.
I am a 20 year old college student and I am looking for a husband. I have always been looking for a husband. I see myself marrying THE ONE who I know for sure is THE ONE and not someone I only have sex in common with. I truly want a commitment, and with abstinence I hope to find someone who is looking for the same thing.
I was dating a guy for a while my freshman year of college. We started off as friends/w benefits until he eventually wanted to move on to dating. After dating pretty seriously for about a month, I found out he had a girlfriend and ended the situation. Sophomore year I still wasn't over it and we ended up dating again. I found that by dating him the second time how hard it was for him to trust me. This I didn't understand. The dating did not last long and we parting again. Junior year I figured, third time is a charm, and we started dating again. I allowed it to get really serious for me, because the level in which I thought I was in love. It took me a couple of months to realize that he was only interested in having a physical relationship. That truly did hurt me and we parted again, this time for good.
I found myself blaming the situation between me and the guy I dated on me. It was my idea to start off as friends/w benefits. I found that by adding sex into the equation he found it much harder to trust me than the other relationships he had after where he was able to open up more. Had it not began that way, I believe things would have been different, meaning I would have realized how incompatible we were and fully recognized how immature he was dealing with my emotions (yeah it's a long story than I'm letting out, but I'm sure I'll open up about it more later on).
In between the three years we were off and on dating, there were some other men I met in between, but I was always treated like a sex buddy or "the other woman". I guess you can say I felt a lot of shame watching the men I had emotional and sexual relationships with move on to real relationships in a matter of months while I was still stuck in a pit. I can also say I don't truly forgive myself for allowing sex to destroy my dignity as well as my relations with the young man I spoke of previously.
This abstinence journey at first was to gain back confidence, security, and my dignity back. After a year it has become much more than that. Abstinence has given me stability and it has given me my virtue back. I feel 100% whole being abstinent now than I was before. It has helped me communicate with men better, and helped me realize that I am not my body; I am self.
There are often times I ponder about the one who got away. With that,I have gained a habit of calling sex the culprit for all my my previous problems. It's not exactly a good way of thinking, but abstinence does give me positivity that weights out the negative regression that lurks in my mined. I believe there are more exciting things to come. My mind is cleared from perversion and unwanted acts of lust. Abstinence has really helped me understand who I really am and what I really want.
I am a 20 year old college student and I am looking for a husband. I have always been looking for a husband. I see myself marrying THE ONE who I know for sure is THE ONE and not someone I only have sex in common with. I truly want a commitment, and with abstinence I hope to find someone who is looking for the same thing.
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